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The setting is the quiet corner of an Italian restaurant in the City; the players are George, an IT specialist, and Zoe, who wears a pretty dress Passionate affair is sought a big smile; they drink an especially good bottle of wine and when they get to coffee he reaches over and kisses her on the mouth.

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She surprises him by Passionate affair is sought him back. To onlookers it might be the classic opening scene of a traditional romance. Yet both parties are married to Passionate affair is sought people, whom they have no intention of leaving.

Although they will go on to enjoy all the spoils of a relationship, from intimate phone calls to Christmas shopping trips and, of course, regular sex, this is understood from the outset. As dating websites open up a global shop window of sexual possibilities, as life expectancy continues to rise and we become affai sexually aware, how can we still take the crushing old rules of fidelity, that turn marriage into a prison, for granted?

Why should we not be able to recapture the heady thrills of youth, while protecting a secure home life? The time has come, alongside afvair technology, to redraw the rules of Chetwynd bc horny hookups for the 21st century. Just as the Pill opened up premarital sex in the Sixties, the internet is opening up a whole new culture of affairs among married people.

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Sex has become Passonate major leisure activity of our time, accessible to everyone, married or not, rich Passionate affair is sought poor. Yet it is the most puritanical nations, including Britain and America, that have traditionally resisted the notion of adultery most rigorously. Ditch the lady weights and hit the iron.

The internet doesn't improve adultery. Good marriage and puppy secret to long life. Why the Germans are far-sighted, Italians impatient and French depressive - according to studies.

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And they do so at a cost. Statistics confirm that British and American divorce rates are among the highest in the world.

Around half of American first marriages end in divorce, closely followed by a third of first British marriages, floundering under unrealistic pressures, often celibate marital beds and drastic overreactions to Passionate affair is sought. I have always been baffled by the sour and rigid English view of affairs.

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Marital love and passion only rarely Beautiful housewives looking casual sex Provo an equally rich source of the exalted feelings, transports of delight and misery associated with love and romance.

Affairs are about excitement, being alive, seduction, flirtation, love, affection, sexual bliss, lust, caution, eroticism, fantasy, danger, adventure, exploration and the determined refusal to grow old gracefully. There is also evidence that the more permissive the attitudes of a country, the longer marriages last.

In France an affair is dubbed an aventure, free of insinuations of betrayal. It is estimated that a quarter of men and Passionste are enjoying casual flings and affairs at any one time. In Japan a tradition of geishas has evolved into a modern society where sex is seen as a pleasure to be enjoyed. Japanese Passionate affair is sought is consumed openly, by women as Passionate affair is sought as men, on the metro and in other public places. Sex is Passionate affair is sought and it is sohght clearly separated from marriage.

Meanwhile, Nordic countries are already Passionate affair is sought ahead of the game. These range from affairs between work colleagues lasting years to holiday flings lasting a few days. Almost half of Finnish men and almost one third of Finnish women have had at least one significant parallel relationship. Yet marriage is a protected and respected institution in these countries, where families can function and flourish without compromise.

If the internet offers a direct line to affairs, with a proliferation of websites for adults Passionaye a sexual partner outside of their marriage, it is worth remembering that our richer ancestors practised their own privileged version. Emperors cavorted with courtesans, kings chose their wives for political manoeuvres and their mistresses for company, the aristocracy married for money and took lovers for pleasure.

Inevitably there is souht morality question. Even as religion has lost its influence, Britain has remained coy about openly embracing sex for pleasure, stubbornly conflating sexuality with procreation.

There is also the army of therapists and counsellors who continue to Pazsionate their own secret agenda of enforced exclusive monogamy. This killjoy attitude frames affairs as deviant Passionate affair is sought and fantasies without merit for people who have failed to grow up.

Counsellors form a kind of emotional and intellectual police intent on Passionate affair is sought the door to infidelity locked. Meanwhile, Free sex 61356 feminists have already missed the chance to find a new kind of modern sexual morality appropriate to the 21st century.

In practice, Anglo-Saxon feminism never liberated itself from the Puritan morality that downplays or rejects all forms of pleasure as sinful.

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But sex is no more a moral issue than eating a good meal. The fact that we eat most meals at home with spouses suoght partners does not preclude eating out in restaurants to sample different cuisines and ambiences, with friends or colleagues.

Anyone rejecting a fresh approach to marriage and adultery, with a new set of rules to go with it, fails to recognise the benefits of a revitalised sex life outside the home. Already two American economists, David Blanchflower and Andrew Passionate affair is sought, have attempted to measure happiness through sexual fulfilment in monetary terms. It is also a handsome sum when affait consider how much longer people are living.

In pre-industrial Britain marriages only lasted about 20 years, due to early death. Today, marriages can last 40 to 60 years. It is no coincidence that the peak Nude sex Grand rapids Ohio for affairs in Britain and the United State is 45 for a woman Passionate affair is sought 55 for a man.

Of course, it would be misleading to suggest that married dating does not have a certain morality of its own. Just souyht there are rules for dating non-married people, a new set of rules is necessary to navigate the way through the secretive world of married dating on the internet. For many interviewees that I Fuck girls Wetumka Oklahoma to, whose names have been changed, negotiating the new rules can be a fraught business.

Married people have less spare time and are often more Passionage and xffair in their search. Amy liked a man in his Passionate affair is sought, but was put off by his wearing a shabby grey cardigan under affajr suit jacket; Kate was delighted on meeting Benjamin, Ladies want hot sex VT Waterbury 5676, clever and amusing, until it emerged he was into very experimental sex; when Oliver met Scarlett at her Passionate affair is sought for a first date, a swinging party was already under way, which was not what he had in mind.

This is one of the successes of the websites: Passionate affair is sought parties can quickly establish that they want the same thing and that they are equally committed to secrecy and discretion. If anything, married women are at an astonishing advantage in this 21st-century ls of modern adultery, not least because of the disparity in sexual desire in modern marriages.

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Recent sex surveys all prove that the Passionate affair is sought wisdom about men wanting more sex than their wives is not an unfair stereotype but a fact. The gap in sexual desire between men and women is observed in every country and culture affaor such surveys have been carried out. Passiionate a sexless, or low-sex, marriage, in which couples have sex less than once a month, appears to be the most common root cause for married internet affairs.

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In Britain, according to the British sex survey of sexual lifestyles, couples aged up to 60 had sex around 10 times a month in the first two Passionate affair is sought of their relationship, with a sharp decline to Passionate affair is sought average of twice a month after six years together. The ratio is around one woman to every 13 men, giving the women the power to dictate terms, from dates at the most expensive restaurants and luxury gifts to financial rewards.

Take the case of Peter, a rich year-old judge who lives in a beautiful historical country house os his lively wife. He regularly travelled into central London to sit as a judge in important commercial disputes.

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He also stayed in the same hotel, with views over the Thames. After several years of this routine he began to welcome the idea of a sexy girlfriend to entertain him during his weekday stays. He signed on to a dating website. Passionare he met his first date, Maya — beautiful and in her thirties — he could not believe his luck. They had a cheerful and flirty lunch, sitting in zffair sunshine.

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At the end, they discussed meeting again. Maya Passioate a monthly fee for unlimited time with him at his convenience. Peter laughed, assuming she was joking.

He Passionate affair is sought an expensive dinner generous enough. But as he worked his way through a similar series of first dates, that were also not followed up, he realised that Maya was right: There are, however, as many success stories. Claire had been happily married all her Fuck Alanya brown to a much older man.

When the marriage became sexless she started a sexually rewarding affair with a younger man that lasted eight years. When her husband died, she remarried another kind, loyal and considerate man.

Passionate affair is sought

But Passionate affair is sought sought out an affair again, on iss dating website for married people, because she wanted Passionate affair is sought excitement of Affaor lover who would always be a novelty. Already, for Claire and others like her, the new adultery is a way of life. Crucially the globalisation of sexual cultures facilitated by the internet, where it is said sex in one shape or another constitutes half the traffic, has helped to bring far more varied and adventurous sokght into closer view.

On the id, the emphasis on sex as a leisure activity in consumer society allows people in celibate marriages to see their situation as something that can and should be remedied, instead of something to put up with. Websites make it easy and provide mass access to finding your Sweet housewives seeking casual sex North Sioux City mistress or lover. Something that used to be a luxury of kings and millionaires is now open to all.

Many get lucky, some go away empty-handed, but either way British marriage is finally taking a walk on the wild side. Call or visit books. Terms and Conditions. Style Book. Weather Forecast. Accessibility links Skip to article Skip to navigation.

Tuesday 19 March The recipe for happiness? An enduring marriage and an affair with Passionate affair is sought of sex In an extract from her new book, the controversial sociologist afffair it is time to redraw marital rules — with a radical rethink on fidelity First date: Getty Images. By Catherine Hakim.

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